The Head Is Bigger
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Postad:11 december 2021 11:26 am
Senast Uppdaterad:16 december 2021 3:40 pm 4283 besök
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Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft.
The study took two years and cost over one point two million pounds.
The study concluded that the reason that the head of a man's penis is larger than shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.
After the results were published, France decided to conduct a study on the same subject.
They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect.
After three years and the cost in excess of three million Erous, the French concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
When the results of the French study were released, Austrailia decided to conduct their own study.
The Aussies didn't really trust British or the French studies.
So, after nearly three hours of intense research and a cost of around seventy-five dollars (three cases of beer) the Aussie study was complete.
They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to keep the hand from slipping off and smacking you in the chin...
(not intended to be racist against any country, thanks)
~Wee~
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Busted ??
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Postad:10 december 2021 4:42 am
Senast Uppdaterad:11 december 2021 2:42 am 4453 besök
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A couple of entrepreneurial prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that read 'Two prostitutes - $50.00'
A police officer seeing the sign pulled the ladies over and advised that they had to remove the sign or go to jail.
Right about then a mini van passed by with a sign on the side of it that read 'Jesus Saves'
"How come you don't stop them ?" asked one of the girls.
"Well that's a different", said the officer "Their sign pertains to religion."
The two ladies pouted a bit but took down the sign and drove off peacefully.
The following day, the same police officer was running radar when he noticed the same two ladies driving around with another sign on their car.
Figuring he had an easy arrest, he flipped his lights on and began to catch up when he noticed what the new sign read. "Two fallen angels seeking Peter - $50.00"
~Wee~
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Helping The Pope ?
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Postad:8 december 2021 5:01 am
Senast Uppdaterad:9 december 2021 5:31 am 3983 besök
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A shy gentleman was prepairing to board a plane when he heard that the pope was on the same flight.
"This is exciting", thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the pope. Maybe I will be able to see him in person."
Imagine his surprise when the pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the pontiff. Shortly after takeoff the pope began a crossword puzzle.
"This is fantastic", thought the gentleman. I am really good at crosswords. Perhaps if the pope gets stuck he will ask me for assistance."
Almost immediately , the pope turned to the gentleman and asked, "Excuse me but, do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends with 'unt' ?"
Only one word leapt to mind... "My goodness", thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the pope that, There has to be another."
The gentleman thought for quite a while then it hit him.
Turning to the pope, the gentleman said "I think you are looking for the word 'aunt' ."
"Of coarse", said the pope. "Do you have an eraser ?"
~Wee~
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No Longer In Use
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Postad:7 december 2021 7:52 am
Senast Uppdaterad:9 december 2021 5:31 am 4314 besök
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A wife coming home from a shopping trip was horrified find her husband in bed with a young lovely thing.
Just as she was about storm out of the house her husband stopped her with these words.
"Before you leave I want to tell you how this all came about. Driving along the highway I saw this young woman looking tired and bedragged so I offered her a lift. She was hungry so I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast that you had forgotten in the refridgerator. She had only some worn sandals so I gave her a pair of good shoes you discarded because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her the sweater that I got you for your birthday, The one you never wore because the colors didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that were perfevtly good but are too small for you now. Then when she was about to leave the house she paused and asked,
'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore ?' "
"but every night the men would come around, and lay thier money down" ~ Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves by Cher
~Wee~
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Gifts From Santa
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Postad:6 december 2021 7:02 am
Senast Uppdaterad:9 december 2021 5:33 am 3816 besök
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Christmas morning a cop was sitting his horse at a traffic light.
Next him is a kid his shiny new bike.
The cop says the kid, "Nice bike you got there, did Santa bring that you ?"
The kid says, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well next year tell Santa put a taillight that bike."
The cop then proceeds hand the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket but before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there, did Santa bring that you ?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid says, "Well next year tell Santa put the dick underneath the horse."
~Wee~
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The Virgin
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Postad:3 december 2021 8:32 am
Senast Uppdaterad:4 december 2021 7:24 am 4414 besök
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A Lawyer got married to a woman who previously had been married 12 times
On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride asked her new groom "Please be gentle. I am still a virgin."
This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of the husbands would have been able to perform.
He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenom.
She responded:
"My first husband was a Sales Represenativewho spent the entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms how good it would be."
"My second husband was from Software Services, he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised to the documentation."
"My third husband was from Field Services and repeatidly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn't get the system up."
"My 4th husband was from Educational Services and you know the old saying 'Those who CAN... do, and those who can't.. teach."
"My 5th husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he had the order, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver."
"My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years research, implement, and design a new state of the art method."
"My seventh husband was form Finance and Administration, he knew how but he just wasn't sure if it was his job or not."
"My eigth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told me that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren't clear on how to do it."
"My nineth husband was a Marketing Manager, even though he had the product, he wasn't sure how to position it."
"My tenth husband was a psychiacrist. All he wanted to do was to talk about it."
"My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he wanted to do was look at it."
"My twelfth husband was a Stamp Collector, and all he wanted to do was.... God I miss him."
"So now I have married you and I am really excited."
"Why is that ?" asked the Lawyer.
"Well, it should be obvious ! You're a Lawyer !! I just know that I am going to get screwed this time !!! "
~Wee~
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Don't Wake Mom !
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Postad:2 december 2021 9:06 am
Senast Uppdaterad:3 december 2021 6:48 am 4153 besök
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A man was approached by a coworker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work.
The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work.
The coworker suggested a way to overcome that problem :
"When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently slide down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex.
Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."
So the man agreed to try it , and went out and enjoyed himself.
Late that night he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, an dgave her oral sex.
She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to pee, so he told her he would be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hallway to the bathroom.
When he opened the door and went in, he was surprised to see his wife sitting on the toilet.
"How did you get in here ?" he asked.
"Shhhhhhhh", she replied, "You'll wake up my mother !"
~Weee~
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The Banker's Balls
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Postad:1 december 2021 5:07 am
Senast Uppdaterad:2 december 2021 3:28 am 5489 besök
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A old lady went into the bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of . She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because ".. it's a lot of ". After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office. The bank president then asked how much she would like to .
She replied "$5,000.00" and dumped the bag of out on the president's desThe president of coarse curious how she had come by all this , so he asked "Ma'am I am surprised you are carrying so much around, where did you get this ?" The old lady replied "I make bets." He then asked "Bets.. what kind of bets ?" The old woman said "Well for example I wil lbet you $25,000.00 that your balls are square." "Ha" laughed the president "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet."
The old lady challenged "So would you like take my bet ?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000.00 that my balls are not square." The old lady then said "Ok, but since there is so much involved, may I bring my lawer with me tomorrow at :00 AM as a witness ?" "Sure" replied the president. That night he bacame very nervous about the bet and and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he sure that absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
The next morning at precisely :00 AM the old lady appeared with her lawer at the president's office. She introduced her lawer and repeated the bet. "$25,000.00 says the president's balls are square." The president agreed with the bet once again and the old lady asked him if he would drop his pants so she could see. The old lady peered closely at them and asked if she could feel them. "Well, ok" said the president, $25,000.00 is a lot of so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Just then he noticed the lawer banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell is the matter with your lawer ?" She replied "Nothing except I bet him $0, 000.00 that at a after :00 AM today that I would have the president of the bank of Canada's balls in my hand."
~Wee~
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The Nun And The Cabbie
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Postad:30 november 2021 8:26 am
Senast Uppdaterad:1 december 2021 3:57 am 4767 besök
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A nun catches a ride in a taxi. As the taxi is going along the nun notices that the cab driver keeps looking at her in the rear view mirror. She says, "What is it my ?"
The cabbie replies, "Oh I am too embarassed to say, sister."
She says, "Please feel free to say anything, I have been a nun for many years and not too many things surprise anymore."
The cabbie says "Well I have always had this overwhelming fantasy to get a blowjob from a nun, Oh I am so ashamed !"
The nun says "That's ok, I understand the need of the flesh. I will do it on two conditions, one is that you are Catholic and two is that you are not married."
The cabbie says "Yes on both conditions !"
So they drive around a corner where the nun takes care of the cabbie. As they continue on their way the nun notices that the cabbie is crying. She says "What's wrong my ?"
He says, "Sister I lied, I am Jewish and I am married."
She says, "That's ok, my name is Steve and I am on my way to a costume party !"
~Wee~
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Packaging Material
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Postad:26 november 2021 7:20 am
Senast Uppdaterad:28 november 2021 3:27 am 3726 besök
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The day before his wedding this guy decides to play a game of baseball with his buddies.
Playing shortstop he gets hit in the nads with a line drive.
He goes to the doctor in a lot of pain, and the doctor tells him there is nothing he can do except wrap it up.
So the doc takes a few tongue depressors and wraps it in a splint.
The next night on the honeymoon his lovely wife comes to him dressed in a nightgown.
Taking down the top she shows him her breasts and proudly says "No man has ever touched these, I have saved them for just you for tonight."
Surprise, but not to be outdone, he pulls down his pants and says. "Look at this honey, it's still in the crate."
~Wee~
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A little Thanksgiving humor
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Postad:25 november 2021 4:45 am
Senast Uppdaterad:26 november 2021 4:43 am 3774 besök
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I know that I have been on the quiet side lately but I do want to step up and wish you all a great Thanksgiving. Thank you once again to those of you who reply and follow. Enjoy the holiday !
I will leave you with a little humor (of coarse)
A man called up his daughter and told her the bad news, he and his wife were getting a divorce. "but why dad ? What happened ?", the daughter asked. "I've been miserable for years and I just can't take it anymore, I've packed my bags and I'm leaving tonight !" the father replied.
"Wait dad, don't do anything drastic, I'm coming over to talk to you guys, can you wait at least until tomorrow ?" asked the daughter. "Ok, why don't you bring john and the kids too, I'm sure your mom will want to see them" The dad said. "Ok' said the daughter. "See you then"
The man hung up the phone and said "Honey ! The kids are coming over for thanksgiving "
"Get up everybody and sing " ~ We are family By Sister Sledge
~Wee~
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The Phone Call
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Postad:24 november 2021 6:25 am
Senast Uppdaterad:25 november 2021 4:32 am 4037 besök
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Several men are in the locker room at a local golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Man: "Hello"
Woman: "Honey, its me. Are you at the club ?"
Man: "Yes"
Woman: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only 1200 dollars right now, down from 1900. Is it okay if I buy it ?"
Man: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
Woman: "Oh, thanks so very much. I also stopped by the Mercedes garage this morning and saw the new models. There was one that I really, really liked."
Man: "How much ?"
Woman: "80,000"
Man: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the optional extras."
Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house that we looked at last year is back on the market. They're asking 1,500,000."
Man: "Well then, go ahead and make them an offer, but no more than 1,250,000."
Woman: "Wow, great ! I'll see you later ! I love you !"
Man: "Love you too, bye."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in absolute astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks "Anyone know who's phone this is ?"
~Wee~
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För att länka till denna blogg (Weeload2) använd [blog Weeload2] i dina meddelanden.
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