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Blogs > bipolybabe69 > "..yes I said yes I will Yes."

"Rain on me, rain on me"  

bipolybabe69 62F
404 posts
7/20/2016 12:19 pm
"Rain on me, rain on me"

I didn't realize how parched is my spirit until a caress of my cheek nearly made me cry last night.

I thought I was flying up to Bend, Oregon, again --just three weeks after my last visit-- because of the sex, which had been the most awesome first-time sex ever with a man. You can read about my craigslist-fueled adventures in the blogs: Part 1 quotBendOver I39ll drivequot, Part 2 BendOver I39ll drive, Part 3 BendOver I'll drive, Part 4 BendOver I39ll drive, Part 5 BendOver I39ll drive and Part 6 Finally the Sex BendOver I39ll drive

Physically intense, long-lasting with an edge of my kink (sensual surrender), there's a tenderness underlies the passionate thrusting, pounding, groping, biting and grinding.

I'm soaking it up like Santa Barbara's Lake Cachuma will the long-denied El Niño rains.

"Only love can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky
Only love can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high"

Even quoting a song that includes the word "love" makes me nervous. I tend to confuse sexual passion with deeper intimacy. Superficially cynical, I possess a deep streak of the romantic not so far under the surface. I've never met a romantic comedy I didn't love.

With my search for a partner capable of emotional intimacy who does not desire a monogamous relationship, I'm now experiencing "Be careful what you ask for."

I discovered this morning that without ever having applied the label, Sam is polyamorous. Now released from a medium-term sentence in a monogamous marriage, he has a ton of past lovers who will likely show up again. I was stunned. Naive me, I actually believed that was only possible in the "poly community" where we wear as a badge of honor continuing to have sex with past partners even after the "relationship" has ended. One lover Mark (with whom I'm currently in limbo due to his personal life) said, "If you're poly, there's really never any reason to 'break up,' you just pass on to a new phase."

That presents a new challenge to my belief in the power of living poly. Can I stay in the moment and enjoy what is, without fear of the future? How well will I manage my own insecurity and jealousy?

Heather, a poly gal pal said, "Every single woman is poly, poly, poly (in the community) but she's searching for a 'soul mate.'"

Another of my close poly female friends, Jaqui, explained, "Everybody wants to be partnered. And the new girlfriend is always monogamous."

But I'm still humming, "Love, reign o'er me"

{=}{=}{=}

BiPolyBabe69

69bud69 70M
7134 posts
7/21/2016 5:19 am

 These are some very well thought out questions.
Finding someone with your views and approach to the sexuality, although tiring in one regard, has to be rewarding when you found.
Having someone who enjoys sharing as well as being shared needs understanding and a totally open views is wonderfully liberating as long as you're still able to carry on with that frame of mind.

Bud
Always Ready for Fun.


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
7/23/2016 10:55 am

 ah, the body is willing but the heart still craves.........
You cannot conceive the many without the one.


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