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| Blogs > myelin36 > Dirty Little Secrets |
Key to Happiness?
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Key to Happiness?  Recently I stumbled upon an article on Psychology Today's site acknowledging that single people can in fact be happier than their coupled friends. Of course I think that happiness can be had whether one defines themselves as coupled or not. Happiness is after all, an intrinsic feeling, regardless of others. Why then are some people more naturally prone to feeling happier than others? Could it be environment? Biological factors? Resiliency to stress? I've been curious about this for quite some time. Self Disclosure: My interest in this topic was piqued due to vast differences between myself and my two sisters. How could three sisters from the same biological parents turn out so drastically different? As the oldest, I grew up shouldering responsibility to help provide care to my sisters while both of my parents worked full-time jobs. It was expected. I remember my parents comparing me to my middle sister who would later go on to become Valedictorian of her senior class and who received a full ride academic scholarship to college. "Why can't you be more like her academically?" My parents would say. Obviously, I could have developed an inferiority complex. That sister would later go on to marry successfully and have a seemingly successful marriage and life as a stay at home mother. But appearances can be deceiving. In spite of having what some may see as a so-called successful marriage, it is just a facade. She struggles with Bipolar depression, lost 60 percent of her hearing and can be prone to mood swings. My youngest sister, whom I refer to as "the lost " developed a drug addiction, subsequently lost custody of her and died at the age of 29 due to "drug toxicity" according to the toxicology report. Oh by the way, she was in a relationship at the time. Then there's me. Short, failed marriage. Single for 14 years. By choice, mostly. I've had my share of ups and downs but I consider myself a resilient person. I joined the military in high school, deployed to Desert Storm in December of 1990, leaving my parents to care for my 4 week-old for six months. I've faced other challenges head on: I put myself through college without help, while being a single parent, employed and raising two . Resiliency and having a positive attitude I believe are keys to unlocking the door to happiness success. In fact, I've considered researching this topic more in depth. A future dissertation topic, perhaps? What say you? What characteristics do you feel influences a person's happiness? |
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Being content with where I am in life, influences my happiness. I've lived, loved and learned, no regrets for the most part. Best part of it all, I'm still living, loving and learning every day. Should I find myself feeling downed, I change things up, different patterns/routines ect... New challenges and adventures always seems to keep me happy.
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I sometimes feel I've missed out in life. I'm the one that remained single out of my other brother and three sisters. I'm contented at the moment even though my love-life can be complicated at times. 
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How were you attached or assigned to when you were activated for PGW #1 ?.? I was there myself and would like to know if we crossed paths somewhere ... LOL !.! As for the relationship thing ... ... I believe your views on longevity and happiness are spot on. To many people in modern world walk around believing that something or someone else is going to 'make them' happy. I also believe that the modern world has brain-washed folks into thinking that you have to be happy 'all the time,' I (like you) have faced my share of adversity and set-backs and have come to believe that no one can truly be happy all the time. It's not normal brain chemistry for someone to be that way. Without the low spots in life - How can we know and appreciate the high points ?.? One must know 'sad' to know 'happy' ... ... I admit that I'm no expert - I majored in Agricultural & Resource Economics - not Psychology. I also firmly believe that our outlook and frame of reference have more to do with one's sense of self-satisfaction or happiness. Happiness is up to us, We need to own it - No one will ever 'give' it to you. Having been in the military you most likely heard the phrases ... "Suck it Up and Drive On !.!.!" "Adapt and Overcome," "Always Forward ... Never Straight Ahead." I am convinced those are words to live by ... It's worked for me for nearly 30 years !.! I wish you well and look forward to your reply. RangeBull From the Gold Country of Northern California's Sierra Nevada Mountains, Range Bull
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This was often a topic of discussion between me and my ex. She was constantly searching for that ever elusive "happiness" and would get upset with me when I would tell her all I wanted was contentment. Happiness is what you feel from time to time along your life's journey, contentment stays with you despite the various ups and downs that come along with living. You can be content in your life, yet sad about events that take place. External events won't affect your contentment, but they may affect your happiness, if only for short period of time. The biggest deterent to contentment comes from inside yourself, not being satisfied with what you are doing, it may be justified, or it may not. The key, or so I continue to tell myself, is to do what you know and pursue what you know to be right and then contentment will follow and happiness will come along with it, when it's appropriate. While it all seems so clear to me, I still struggle with finding contentment and I know that I am the major roadblock to finding it.
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I was with A Co 27th ABN ENG BN; 20th ENG Bgde; XVIIIth ABN Corps - Ft. Bragg, NC. We were way up North (Above Rafa & KKMC) on Tapline Road. The only units North of us were the British Dragoons & French Troops. We chewed some of the same dirt - but probably didn't cross paths. Best Wishes, RangeBull From the Gold Country of Northern California's Sierra Nevada Mountains, Range Bull
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ability to find and maintain one's sense of inner peace regardless...
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