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Blogs > rm_bella_ > Confessions Of An Italian

Naked In Front Of You  

rm_bella_ 54F
3313 posts
8/7/2007 4:57 pm
Naked In Front Of You
Yes, Bella has taken a few to many happy pills on purpose today. No, not a relapse...I just needed them.

And with my brain in this state of mush I have decided to repost something from the good old days. I thought this piece was perfect for its relevance in my life even 2 years later. I am in the same place with the same struggles....But today I have decided that the wind can take me where it wishes me to be....no questions asked.

And so naked in front of you goes a little something like this:

Another day at the beach and now home once again. Long hot days and even longer, hot evenings. My days are filled with work, my mind occupied with business, contract obligations, fulfilling time requirements and trying to make a fleet of men listen to what I want them to do. My evenings are another story. These last weeks have been filled with hot weather, evenings spent alone or at the gym. I come home and I am alone, longing for what I once had and what I so strongly desire now. Companionship, passion, sex and intensity. I want it all and I need it now.

I am partially to blame as I have not been available to the men I have been lucky enough to meet, the possibilities that present themselves to me on a daily basis. It is not my body that lacks the desire but more so my mind that is pushing me back into in a corner telling me not to accept less than what I dream of if I even can decipher what that is anymore. It’s funny how things work…when I had all these things I debated how strongly I was committed to maintaining these feelings. Once it disappeared I questioned why I was the way I was or why I wanted what I once had. My need to have a man touch me tonight is overwhelming. My need to please a man even more so. Is it my ego? Is it hormonal? Is it my mind or is just my heart playing tricks on me?

I question myself because I am all over the place in regards to my sexuality these days. I want to play, to seduce, to lust and have a type of sex that is carefree and without limits. I want experimentation without judgment. I want to slip out of bed and just leave if I so desire without worrying about his feelings. I want him to please me from head to toe, I want to be selfish and not care. I want him to want me more than I want him without him knowing. I want him to seduce me until I can no longer withstand my own position. I truly want all this.

Can I flip the cards for myself? Yes, and I want this also. I want a man to think of me and care about me and only me. When we slip into bed together I want to feel his touch running across my body and dream he will be the last man to ever touch me as he is my eternity. I want him to feel that when I look into his eyes that I am his, only for his desires and pleasures. I want him to know he can have me any way he wants me, anytime he wants me, without question or doubt. I want to make love him, for him feel as though no other woman could please him the way I do. I want him to be a part of my body and be familiar with it, every inch of me with his hands, his tongue and his heart. I truly want all of this.

I need to close my eyes and stop thinking. I need a man who is stronger than the road blocks put up in my mind to take me, truly overpower all who I am, to just have me open my heart and body to him. I need a man who is stronger than I am. I need a man I cannot say no to…no matter his reasoning to be with me. I just need to jump over this hurdle and allow a man into my heart and to take over my being whether it is for love or for lust. It is time.

I have been advised that a new man would help me, and to a point I agree. My fantasies have become more powerful and even more in reach within the last weeks than ever before. It always seems that when I am not open or available my phone rings and I hear from those I have not heard from in a while. I need to say yes. I need to say yes, please…I need you right now…please my body…touch every inch of me, my arm and my breasts, my thighs and my kitten. Let me feel your tongue sliding across my skin from head to toe, let me feel your manhood sliding inside of me until we both reach the moment of complete pleasure and release. Help me to feel like a woman again. Let me make you feel like a man. Let us just be without question or category, without thought or judgment. Let us just be together for however long we desire. Let us not talk about. Let us not discuss the future unless it is bright. Let us just be together whether it is in bed or in life. Let’s just do it and be together.

Long hot days and even longer, hot evenings. Let us set them on fire, let’s make them lustful and full of sex we dream of having and maybe everything else will fall into place for both of us. Let me lay next you with my head on your chest, whispering to you my secrets that I dare not say aloud in front of anyone else. Let me trust you with who I am and who I can be. Treat me like a lady in front of others and like your when I am naked in front of you. Tell me what you want me to do, tell me to get on my knees and please you…treat me like a lady public and like your in the bedroom. And maybe, just maybe everything else will fall into place afterwards. Maybe, just maybe we will shower together and slip into bed again, caressing each other with our eyes and our hearts…satisfied that we are meant to be for eternity and not just for one night. Maybe, just maybe we will slip into bed together and tell each other “I love you” and mean it before we close our eyes in sleep and dreams preparing to be there for each for one more day. Maybe, just maybe we’ll be together for all I dream of, for all I desire….the love, the passion, the sex, the intensity…for each other, for us, for you and for me.
danteszippo 59M

8/8/2007 1:12 am

 that's beautiful.


bad_assed_witch 109F
33758 posts
8/8/2007 7:32 am

 you have a way with words, hun ! You're awesome !
~ The New & Improved Cocksucker ~


rm_stuckies 69M

8/8/2007 9:29 am

 Very nice expression of what's on your mind. I too feel lonely sometimes even in a crowd. As I have no one for my own.


rm_bella_ 54F
4029 posts
8/8/2007 8:12 pm
    Quoting  :
Someone gave me "the secret" dvd...i think that is the premise...I think I need to watch it!


sexymermaid6956 70F
26383 posts
8/11/2007 5:32 am

 bella...i watched that dvd...it won't hurt you to watch it....be positive my friend....smiles at bella...
[]

Seduce my mind and my body


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