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| Blogs > rm_bella_ > Confessions Of An Italian |
What Hurts Most
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What Hurts Most I am having a hard time understanding why I fall into these deep black situations through no fault of my own. A man should treat a woman as a crystal glass and not as a punching bag for his entertainment of ego. I am unhappy and more than anything hurt emotionally this morning. This morning I sit in front of my laptop with a black and purple eye. This morning I sit here with my forearms and wrists bruised because a simple word was not understood, did not want to be understood. This word is "no." Last night I went to my girlfriends dinner party. I didn't know half of whom was there and I went without a man. I chatted, flirted, and generally had a great time with my friends. My mistake was not to take my own car as I went with another girlfriend in hers. There was a man there, dressed very nicely, clean and well educated from what I could perceive. We made small talk all evening as I was not interested in him nor did I play with him to make him believe otherwise. When it was time to leave my friend suggested he drive me home as he was great pals with her boyfriend. I agreed as I know her boyfriend well. We got to my place and he asked to come in to use the bathroom. I let him in and that is when he became persistant and his hands were all over me. I was nice and told him "no" multiple times. He got more rough and that is when I proceeded to knee him in the balls. Before I knew it he hit me closed fisted in the face. I fell to the ground and he left. The only man I ever loved once threw me to the ground in an arguement, I didn't want to add to that experience with that of a stranger. But last night I did. I don't feel very good today. My face hurts but more than anything I feel physically ill that I have to walk around like this, to work, my parents and friends until the bruising subsides. I don't want people to perceive me as a victim anymore because I am not. I have changed that part of my life through my own determination and out of a need. And now I have to walk around like this. Makeup may be able to disguise the bruise slightly but what is in my heart cannot be disguised. Hurt inside and hurt outside. Bruised outside and wounds reopened inside. It is painful to be mistreated and abused through no fault of your own. It makes me think about all those battered women out there who go through even worse on a daily basis and through an entire lifetime. Pain can be perceived in many ways. I don't know what hurts more, the fact that a man hit me last night through no fault of my own or the fact that a man believed it was ok to hit me because it was me. bella |
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omg Bella...let me at that fucker...i will rip him a new asshole... my dear bella....oh my god...it saddnes me to now end to hear this has happened to you!!!! the bastard needs to be charged with assult...you my dear where defending yourself... my heart cries right now...for this is one nasty man and no man should do this to any woman!!!! The word NO means NO... fuck let me at him....i wish i was closer...i feel helpless...oh my god!!!! Bella....warm hugs...i love you girl!!!!   []   Seduce my mind and my body
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1/31/2009 9:53 am |
I am sorry for Your pain....that Bastard should be exposed....tell Your GF's boyfriend and straighten out the Asshole.... Hugs to You....Your family will understand....You need support and understanding....don't suffer in silence... TASTE LIFE IN ALL IT'S FLAVOUR
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1/31/2009 9:59 am |
Heh I just found you and your blog! I don't want nasty things happening to you. The assholes are over populated sorry you found one. Should be like a real man, when turned down cry in your beer and masterbate to porn. Ice those bruises, have some comfort food/time, and carry a mace. http://Older Hookups.com=136&step=2 Hugs and stay safe  
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1. Call the police and press charges. Go to small claims court and sue for lost wages, pain and suffering... ask a lawyer what you can and should do. 2. Take PICTURES. Bruises and scratches fade quickly... document your injuries! Same goes for any damages to household items. 3. If you can, try to be proud of your black eye, wear it like a badge of honour. You stood up for yourself, you knee'd an attacker in the groin in self-defense and then you got sucker punched by someone who was bigger than you. You're dealing with a coward. 4. Don't get mad... don't get sad... get even. As I said, you're dealing with a coward who is not worthy of your time, let the police and the courts deal with this little man. Let's see if the WPS is still pursuing its zero-tolerance policy on violence against women. Make sure your friends don't go vigilante, because that can have negative effects on legal matters. 5. Kind of makes you wonder how many other women he's done this to? How many other women has he hit? Is this guy a serial date-? Maybe other women will come forward. Bella... use the police, use the legal system to give this guy the screwing he so deserves. Get well soon.
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this is no man this is the biggest shit house walking and like mermaid if i could get my hands on him i would rip his bloody head off he should be charged with assult on you now at least so he can not do this to anymore ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD THE PAST WE CANNOT CHANGE BUT THE FUTURE IS OUR,S TO WRITE     
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I came here by way of SexyMermaid. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are right, you don't deserve this, you didn't do anything wrong. I hope you pursue this as outlined by funnyinWpg. Be kind to yourself as you heal and move forward. Best wishes.
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Charge him, plain and simple. The sooner the better. What he did was illegal. Tell your girlfriend and make sure her boyfriend finds out what kind of friend he has. The guy is a jackass and needs to be labeled as one to anyone who knows him.
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1/31/2009 11:34 am |
This motherfucker should be castrated then skinned alive and fed to the wolves. My prayers are with you.    
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1/31/2009 11:44 am |
Although I spend my days abusing beautiful women with my words I would never lift a finger...my prayers are with you. xoxox E ps Will a goat cheer you up?
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1/31/2009 12:33 pm |
I am so very sorry that this happened to you...By all means give all the suggestions Funny gave in his comment serious consideration. That waste of skin needs to be brought up on charges of sexual assault and battery. No woman should ever be beat upon. I do hope you will find peace and healing through this terrible incident. A persons heart will tell you how they lived,and perhaps died But it can never tell how it loved.
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That is rough and there is little that I can say that can detract from the pain imposed upon you, either the physical and mental.... all I can do is add my voice to the support that the people here are trying to give to you... One thing that you say in your post is that you say that you "don't want people to perceive me as a victim anymore". The only way that that can happen if you walk around feeling shame, feeling as though that you should hide and that you did something wrong... Not reporting this guy is acting like a victim and allowing him the potential to do this to another woman.
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Feeling hurt or ashamed is the wrong way to go with this Bella. You should feel ANGRY! Call the people from the party and tell everyone what he did. Find out his name from your friends and call the police. Yell and scream his name from the rooftops and wear your black eye with pride knowing that is ALL he got from you and you are now going to ruin his life. After he is arrested, let him explain to his employer what happened, his family, his friends. He is the bad guy here, not you. Don't ever let bastards like that get away with it. Ever! Tell everyone who will listen what his name is, where he works, what he drives. If anyone asks you what happened to your eye, look them in the eye and say ***** ******** did this to me when I would not put out. You will see that no one will look at you with pity, they will look at you with a new light for your strength. I know it hurts right now Bella, but you have the strength to turn this around and use it to build up your own self esteem.
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Bella, I'm sorry this sort of thing happened to you. Everyine is right. You should go to the police if you haven't yet. Get this guy arrested. That guy is a loser and jail is where he belongs. Take care of yourself Bella. xoxoxo
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1/31/2009 3:16 pm |
I usually look forward to reading your blog because you seem real and honest about yourself. This is something I wouldn't expect and just a simple comment to say I'm sorry that you had to go through something like that... I don't care who you are or how much you flirt, there is no excuse for that loser's behaviour. I have no doubt that you are strong enough to handle it but although I don't know you if you did need a way to vent I'll be an ear..
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I grew up around a wifebeater, next time just shoot the son of a bitch and spare the future women and children in his life. I'm very sorry you met someone like that.  {=}Aut viam inveniam aut faciam Tips for Guys to Meet Women  Things i miss most about relationships
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big secure hugs honey coming your way What a twat,even if you had flirted and led him on, a good hiding is not excuse for this ass wipe,good on you for getting him out of your apartment. Don't blame your self honey,hugs  I'm a   and i'm here to stay
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I'm sorry to hear that you fell victim to some macho asshole.Men like him need to be taught a lesson,hopefully someone kicks his ass for this. Take care and don't blame yourself
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I hope that you are feeling better. You should not feel sorry or ashamed about being hit by a total ass hole. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior from any man, and no woman should ever put up with that kind of treatment. I hope that it never happens again but next time knee him in the balls then hit him in the throaght he will be down for the count. You did the right thing by defending yourself, remember though that you need to try to get something or at least some distance after you get away. Even in your own house don't think that you need to stay to protect your property. Stuff can be replaced. There is nothing that pisses me off more than guys like that. Sorry I sound a little preachy but IT'S something that I feel strongly about. Again I hope that you are feeling better, and just remember that not all guys are like that!
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Bella, Many have already said it and I concur. Wear your bruises proudly and tell every living soul you come in contact with his name, who his friends are, where he works and lives, what kind of car he drives, where he hangs out. Let the world know that he is an ass. If your world there is anything like mine here, his ass will be sucking buttermilk on short notice when word gets out. Point a loud finger at him. Do not hide it. The police might help and they might not but publicize it. Let people, especially your friends BF whose friend he supposedly is. My condolences sweet girl. You were not dealing with a man, only a boy in big shoes. Hugs
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1/31/2009 10:02 pm |
What a fucking asshole. If I could I'd teach him a REAL lesson in what it feels like to be bullied. This blog gets me so pissed I can hardly write about it. I knew a guy who made the mistake of actually bragging about hitting women. After telling him to shut his fucking mouth and get away from me, I absolutely made sure that anytime, anyplace I saw him speaking with ANY woman, I told them what he bragged about. This worked twofold, 1. He lost many potential "dates" and just faded from social circles, wondering why women treat him like a plague. and 2. I met some very cool women, one I ended dating for years. Not being flippant at all, Get the word out, tell anyone connected with this asshole. You probably should have called the cops. Lucky for him you don't own any firearms. Hope you feel better. xxx
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1/31/2009 10:49 pm |
IT'S A LONG TO TRAVEL FROM TEXAS TO KICK SOMEONES ASS BUT I'M READY TO GO. YOU,RE ON MY PRAYER LIST.
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2/1/2009 12:19 am |
Guys who cannot control their sex drives are WIMPS and COWARDS. Real men respect women and share sexuality.
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2/1/2009 5:11 am |
(HUGS) so sorry for what you are going through ... we don't know one another - but it seems like you have a number of people around that love you. speak up - most abused women don't do this, and i have no idea why. those that love will support you, someone above said charge him, i agree the sooner you do this the better. staf safe and keep your loved ones close
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2/1/2009 7:02 am |
For all the years I have known you, you have always been a sweet heart, and always made it crystal clear what you wanted and needed. Do the right thing and go to the police. You know I am always here for you, if you need any help please let me know.
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2/1/2009 8:07 am |
ill keep youin my prayers dont sent him my way cause ill rip the fucker a new ass hole huggs sweetie  
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