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| Blogs > partygald > this way to heidi |
On being married.
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On being married. This is weird. Is this what marriage is supposed to be? Barely 6months into our marriage and the husband is out tonight on a date. He met someone while out on a run one morning a few weeks ago and they have been seeing each other increasingly often ever since. Ok, I feel the need to explain. I'm actually perfectly fine with him seeing someone on the side. I did insist we keep this marriage open, after all. We both have been with other people since we got married (he actually met up with his ex wife and had sex with her twice. And this is after half a decade of them not having any physical or emotional contact. I found that quite...cute, and super weird. I guess on one hand, I should be glad they resolved their issues with each other. On the other hand, I used to be the girl on the side when they were married  . Twilight zone...). The only difference is, he's stopped talking to me about it, and also stopped asking me about my activities, which he used to do. All the time. On one hand, I see it as a possibility that he has finally come to terms with our arrangement. On the other, it could be that he has stopped asking mainly so I wouldn't ask him about his activities. I dunno...tricky, this is....And this isn't even about me feeling left out, or one of those situations where I feel like I'm losing him. The brutal truth is, it is a possibility. I guess it comes with the territory, given our choice of our marriage. I doubt that will happen though, but I just want to state that I'm aware that could happen. We're not talking as much, but we've always had that. We go through phases when we do, and when we don't. Sex is still good  . Least I got that going for me. Which brings me to another point - what is it with people asking a newlywed couple if we have on the way? Is that a standard question when dealing with newlyweds?? And the follow up question of ,"Not yet? When? Are you guys trying?" What are they really asking? If we're having sex? So should I then answer," yes, lots. Well, I guess we're trying when he cums inside me. Sometimes it's just so much more fun when he cums outside of me. I do like it on my face sometimes, and he does have a thing for cumming on my breasts. Then there are times when you just have to have anal..."  Maybe I should hit the library and find me a handbook... |
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Have seen lots of books on the shelves addressing marriage and how to "make it work". Never paid much attention to any of them because we figured those are just another opinion from someone we don't even know. Is this how it's supposed to work? To some, probably not. To others......... they only wish. It runs the entire spectrum. The important thing is, is it working for you guys? If you've agreed to enter into this without restrictions about who you each have as lovers, and you're both ok with continuing that, then fine. However, if it was also with the open communication of sharing the story afterwards and that's no longer happening, you may want to address that. Keeping activities out in the open and not letting them fall back into the shadows can be crucial towards maintaining a sense of comfort.
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things have changed over the years, but it is always heartwarming to hear stories of long marriages and sad when you hear that they have died hours apart from each other
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I would guess that open marriages have their challenges just like a "traditional marriage"...perhaps even more so. I never really understood the point of being married in an open relationship I suppose unless it is to share expenses!
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At least you knew what you were getting into. Can't say I feel most people do when they get married and they have every reason in the world to explain why they can cheat but when I ask if it is ok if they found out if their spouse cheats, they almost always take the long about reason of "No".
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What if it started as an open marriage, and it's begun veering to some sense of traditionality? Don't we all grow up watching our parents, uncles aunts, grans, etc etc in their versions of marriage? How traditional were they? Primal feelings of jealousy and insecurity exist in all of us, to some extent anyway. And perhaps they will see light of day, someday.... Maybe bot will exhibit it, maybe not; will the degree be same or different....... If, however, self-confidence is exceptionally high, and a sense of possessiveness is negligible, then perhaps those primal feelings/fears may not affect one that much.... After all, there are plenty of fish in the ocean.... All those folks? Lol... busybodies perhaps, perhaps lacking social graces... What to say, it takes all kinds to make the world go round.... Good post......... Hope you didn't mind the offbeat/weird comment...
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Maybe one day you will have a threesome with hubby and his ex wife, a good way to stop him from hiding things about his ex wife. if you can drop your ego that is
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GOOD
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hmm....its kinda weird.....cause marriage is a big commitment.....remind him of it....and its good that he is sharing things with u and is transparent about it..... what was ur basis of marriage with him.....open marriage...? clear the air...have a healthy relationship.... talk to him.... share ur concerns.... if open marriage then u can have threesome..foursome...sex orgies... .......have fun..... keep it real...... 
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Your marriage is something that you and your man is creating. It's a constant work in progress and you don't need any books for advice. It's sounds like you and your man talk about everything and if you're feeling different let him know and see what he thinks. We gave a two week notice of our marriage. EVERYONE thought we were expecting but we just wanted to get the formality out of the way. We both didn't want any children and we never did. Never a day without a regret to be childless. If you want children have them. If you don't don't. Peace to you and if you ever want to meet let's talk, get to know one another and we'll see how it goes. You sound adventurous and lovely.
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Why get married to have open marriage. Its not the same as dating! Its not the same as inviting a 3rd to participate in the art of enhanced stimulation to reach and experience the height of climatic pleasures. But any open marriage is an invitation for either to exit quickly for any number of excuses. Unfortunately, "open marriage" to me means neither person is fully committed to the other. While I'm not totally opposed to it, even inviting a third involves emotions because the truest, deepest sensuality of sex requires it. But in the end, indiscriminate sharing is not for me as I value the woman I select for everything she is (as she values her choice in me) - so, I'm selfish in that way.
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If I could have an open marriage, I will like me and my wife to go together for dates, because I prefer to do the things always with my wife in mind SK happydance1979加我 
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Hi how you been? what you been up to lately? decided to quit Older Hookups due to marital reasons?
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