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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Nil carborundum ab illegitimati
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Nil carborundum ab illegitimati The bastard rat bastard bitching sons of bitches failed to deliver my new mattress today . I suppose that's what I get for buying a mattress from Rat Bastard Mattress Co. Truck broke down my Aunt Fanny ! My Aunt Fanny drove a truck for 36 years and she never missed a delivery ! What I am to do now ? I already burned my old mattress this morning . And I had to cancel the I ordered to break in the new one . And if you don't give 24 hours notice for cancellation you still get charged for the first 35 minutes booked in full and 65% of the next 75 minutes ! And then when you call and complain they say they'll waive the condom service fee like that's supposed to mean a god damn thing . Now I have to sleep on a box spring for three nights like an animal ! Specifically like a Newfoundland pine marten . I'll break their truck down ! I'll waive their fee ! I heard a dude call another dude pissface today , which is a weird insult . You have to wonder why some insults catch on and others don't . Like calling someone a pussy - I like pussies myself . Dick seems like an odd one as well - their weird looking sure , but there's nothing terribly objectionable really . They're mostly harmless . I guess we hate our genitals ? That seems about right actually . I agreed to judge an insult contest once but what I didn't know is that as the judge you're the one getting insulted . I won't lie , I got my feelings hurt a little bit . J/K I don't have feelings ! I do wonder if the whole thing was just staged to insult me . Jerk off is another strange one - pretty sure most dudes jerk off . Again , I guess sex is bad . Notice I said MOST and not ALL . Back when I was a young fella who didn't jerk off it annoyed me mightily the presumption that ALL guys masturbate . suppose that's kind of silly now . Mother fucker is a little too vague - I've fucked a couple mothers , most men have . It really should be 'your own mother fucker' to be clearly insulting . Too wordy through I suppose . What you have to wonder about even more is why insults call out of usage . When's the last time you heard someone called a lease-tail , a smorflauts or a coxcomb ? Remember that time someone asked me what a smorflauts is and I said to him "It's akin to a flachshrike, but with fewer numbles" . Wicked burn ! Speaking of anachronisms , I'm reading "Enter the Saint" and there were numerous references said titular character driving at excessive and reckless speeds such as 40 miles an hour . Turns out the book was written in the 1930s . The speed limit at the time was generally 20 mph . Hard to fathom . As far as I can tell the Saint is like Batman only instead of his parents dying he grew up to be a rich asshole who beats up criminals for laughs instead of for revenge . Some of his quips are funny , but overall he seems like a 1930 version of Deadpool - the constant one liners get annoying pretty quickly . It is amusing when the writer self censors the odd curse word . I never understood why implying someone said "fuck" is different from actually coming out and saying it but I suppose that's how you got published in the 1930s . Also annoying how every 2-3 chapters they need to remind you the Saint has done EVERYTHING in the world 17 times and now he's bored by even the most fantastic of fancies . I never saw that old (relatively speaking) movie the Saint with Val Kilmer . Is it any good ? Is the movie Saint less douchey ? Douche is another strange insult , and douche bag doubly so . Maybe anything involving the genitals should be an insult . "Come back here you underwear !" "I'd rather die you cock ring !" Anyway , do you have a mattress ? If so can I stay with you tonight ? We can sleep head to toe so there's no funny business .  Oh no ! Anyway anyway , how was your day ? I love you you know . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Wow, major bummer about the mattress...you should make them give you an upgraded model as compensation. I'd suggest that you sleep on the couch instead of your box spring, but... probably not a great idea. I was going to ask whether this was the same Saint as the Val Kilmer movie, but then you beat me to it by providing that info. I thought it was a decent movie, but then as I recall it WAS back when VK was still pretty good looking. There are some humorous bits where he's in disguise. Is the Saint in the book a master of disguise? Also, it's set modern day rather than the 1930's so he gets to drive faster than 40 mph.   
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I have a mattress and No - just because Jimmy Hoffa grew up in Detroit, doesn't mean I had any influence over the Teamsters delivering your bed. (heeheehee) BTW...The Saint started as a TV show starring Roger Moore. He was a much better Saint than a Bond. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Oh my god, this is great...I love how your mind churns. Seriously, I guffawed so many times throughout this. I live in a house with a lot of people, but I have a comfy bed and we can sleep head to toe. But, here's the thing, I snore. How loud? It depends on who you ask. Sometimes, I am told, I get handsy in my sleep. I've also been told I talk about "stupid shit" in my sleep Can you guess who told me these things? PS...I'm pansexual and have slept with "all kinds"...it may not be as you think to answer.  Live life to it's fullest! If you're bored, Read Hugs Gypsy
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OK this was one of the most enjoyable posts I have read in ... forever, or at least the last hour or so... I love you, too! Kitkat The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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you should just sleep on the box springs, kind of like an Indian mystic on a nail bed, people would hang on your every word. think of the following you could develop. maybe you could get people to give you Rolls Royces like the bhagwan rashneesh, i bet you could get refunds from hookers then.
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40Deuce replies on 8/30/2016 7:15 pm: You snore , talk AND grope in your sleep ? That sounds exhausting . I've "heard" I can be exhausting, but I've also "heard" I'm so much fun in other ways. Live life to it's fullest! If you're bored, Read Hugs Gypsy
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